Noah – movie review

The story of Noah only takes 4 pages in The Book of Genesis of the Old Testament. That makes it a real problem for a movie director. How do you stretch a 4 page story into a full length motion picture?

What the writers did is what is making so many conservative Christian groups angry. The writers added to the story parts that are not in the bible.  And for no discernible reason at all they even changed parts of the story that were very clear in the Book of Genesis.

One of the main plot points of the movie is that only one of Noah’s three sons has a wife and that she is incapable of bearing children. Noah is sure that this is a sign that after the world is destroyed by the flood, God wants the human race to end. This assumption is one of the main driving forces governing Noah’s actions in the movie.

Except that this is completely opposite to what is in the Bible. The quote from the Book of Genesis is that, “Noah and his sons, Shem and Ham and Japheth, and Noah’s wife and the three wives of his sons entered the ark.” That makes 4 men and 4 women on the ark.  Not only does the movie leave out two of the women, it makes a major plot point about how sad two of the sons are that they do not have women.

The movie also turns Noah’s entire family into vegetarians.  In the movie God is angry that all the people except Noah’s family are killing and eating animals for food. That is one of the main reasons God destroys the world but saves Noah and his family. Again, this is a complete Hollywood fantasy.

However the movie becomes truly ridiculous when it comes to the building of the ark. This would have been a perfect time for the movie to have a lot of dramatic scenes about how Noah and his sons struggled doing heavy manual labor for many years to fulfill God’s will.

ROCK MONSTER GalaxyQuest Rock Monster

ROCK ANGEL  Noah’s “Rock Angel”

Instead, the director (Darron Aronofsky) decided to employ very badly computer generated “fallen angels” to help Noah. Supposedly God threw these angels out of Heaven for being unfaithful. When they fell to Earth they landed in molten lava and therefore became rock-encrusted. However, they can still move around.  The audience is supposed to take them seriously. But it is hard not to laugh since these angels look exactly like the rock monster from the comedy Galaxy Quest. The graphics and movements of these rock-angels is so bad it looks like something a student film maker would have submitted for a project.

It is unfortunate that the writing in this movie is so awful, since the acting is excellent.  Noah is played superbly by Russell Crowe. Noah’s wife is Jennifer Connelly who also portrayed his wife in A Beautiful Mind.

But the best actors in the world cannot save this movie. If you want to know the story of Noah we recommend you read it in the original book. It won’t take that long to read. After all, it is only four pages.

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