The First Person He Killed

The first time Bob killed someone it was an accident. At least it started out that way. Bob had always been the type of person who tried to never get into a confrontation with anyone. He was a  withdrawn thirty year old  man with a very meek personality and a physical appearance to match. Bob was tall and skinny with thick glasses and thinning light hair that looked like straw .

Bob’s wife Penelope (Penny) had left him exactly one week before he made his first kill. They had only been married for a year and a half. Penny had screamed and called him a wimp. She said that he could move up at work if he was just more aggressive. She had been furious that he had once again been passed over for a management position

“Even you car is wimpy!” she had screamed. “It looks like a dented cracker box and it has no power. Old ladies on electric scooters can pass your car.  It’s embarrassing to ride in it with you!”

The week after Penny stormed out Bob went to a used car lot to trade in his “cracker box” and get the most powerful car he could afford. A very attractive saleswoman in a short skirt and a tube top took one look at Bob and zeroed in on him. She knew this would be an easy sale, especially when he said what he wanted was “maximum power”.

She got him to buy a used jet black Dodge Charger. Bob didn’t think he could afford it, but the saleswomen set him up with extended financing.

Dodge Charger

There was just one problem. The only one the lot had was a stick shift and Bob had never driven anything other than an automatic.But the saleswoman (“call me Amber”) convinced him that it would be easy to learn. She told him a stick shift actually made the car much more powerful than an automatic.  Bob and Amber took the car out on the road for almost an hour . Bob drove while Amber taught him how to use the shift. There was no way Amber was going to lose this sale after having filled out all the financing paperwork.

By the end of the drive, Bob felt he had gotten the hang of it. He and Amber went back to the car lot, and  Bob signed the final paperwork for the sale. As he drove off in the Charger, Bob smiled as he felt the car accelerate with incredible force.  Somehow the strength of the car made him feel strong.

Between the financing paperwork and the driving lesson it had taken Bob all day to buy the car. It was quite dark on the way home and Bob turned on the lights. He was concentrating so hard on using the stick shift properly that he did not notice the lights were on high-beam.

Bob was about five miles from home  on a stretch of road than went though a wooded area. He was behind an old pick up truck which  suddenly stopped and a man got out.  Bob thought the pick up truck must have broken down. Bob stopped his own car and rolled down the window to see if the man needed any help.  That’s when the man ran back to Bob’s car and punched Bob right in the face.

“Fucking Asshole!”, yelled the man. “Following me for five miles with your God Damn bight lights on!” The man then  started to walk back to the pickup truck. Bob was shocked and scared. He looked  in the rear view mirror and saw that his nose was bleeding profusely.

A different type of man might have tried to fight back, but Bob just wanted to get away and get home. He  jammed the stick shift into reverse and floored the accelerator. That’s when the car shot forward and plowed right into the man walking back to the truck. Between the shock of the punch and Bob’s not really knowing how to drive a stick shift, he had put the Charger into First Gear instead of Reverse.

Bob turned off the Charger and jumped out to help the man. The man from the truck was lying on the ground and screaming profanities.

“You son of a bitch! You broke my legs! You are going to jail! I am going to sue you for every penny you have! Your life is ruined you son of a bitch!”

Bob was about to  phone for an ambulance. Then he realized that the screaming man was right. As soon as the police showed up Bob’s life was ruined. No one was going to believe that he had run over the man by accident. Bob would go to jail. He would lose all his money. He would lose his job and his new car. He would never get Penny back.

Bob needed to think. He just needed to think, but the man would not stop screaming. It would not be long before another car came by or someone heard the screaming and came to investigate. In a few minutes Bob’s life would be ruined. If the man would just stop screaming. If he would just stop.

That’s when Bob saw the tire iron, jack and flat tire  in the bed  of the pick up truck. The owner of the truck had obviously recently changed a flat tire .  With a sudden Epiphany Bob knew exactly what to do.

Bob reached into the bed of the pickup truck and grabbed the tire iron.  He swung it with two hands and hit the screaming man full force on the head. Then there was silence.

The silence was complete. There  were crickets chirping and the sound of the highway in the distance, but no sirens  and no other cars. Bob new he had to act fast. He took the jack out of the bed of the pickup truck and jacked up the front of the truck. Then he took the tire iron and  removed the left front tire of the truck and placed it next to the truck.

Bob took the man’s body and positioned it directly under the front of the truck. . He was going to make it look like an accident. It would look like the man had been changing a flat tire and had not placed the jack properly. The police would think the truck had slipped off the jack and had crushed the man. It had happened before.

With the body in just the right spot, Bob put his hands on the side of the truck and used his full force to rock the truck back and forth.  He rocked it faster and faster until suddenly the front of the truck fell off the jack. It landed on the man’s body with a horrible squishing  sound, like a large pumpkin being dropped on a cement floor.

tire iron

Bob got back into his Charger, very carefully put it into the proper gear and drove off.  When he got home he carefully examined the front of the Charger for damage but could see nothing but a small dent. He did not see any blood or other tell-tale sign. He was amazed at how fragile a human body is compared to a car. Then Bob went into the house.

He cleaned up his bloody nose, put all his cloths in the washing machine and took a long hot  shower.   They he got completely dressed in good cloths and waited for the police. He did not want to get dragged off to jail in his pajamas.  On the drive home Bob prepared himself for the inevitable. He knew there was no way he could get away with murder.

But he did.

Bob stayed up all night waiting for the police but they never showed up. He turned on his porch light so they would know he was home.  He unlocked the front door so they would not smash it down. But they never came. All night Bob flipped through the news channels for a story on the murder. He scanned the internet continually and even tried the radio news stations.

As  Saturday night turned into Sunday morning,  Bob was finding it hard to stay awake. Then on the early morning local T.V.  news the story came on.  A very young reporter was taking while in the background could be seen an ambulance, police car and tow truck all parked near the pickup truck. The reporter told the tale of the “tragic accident,” where a local man died while changing a flat tire.

Then the news switched back to the studio where they interviewed an automotive expert about the proper and safe way to change a flat tire. The expert repeatedly stressed that changing a flat was much more dangerous than most people realized. He ended by advising that the most sensible course of action is to call a tow truck and not try to change a tire yourself.

Bob realized that he should feel guilty and ashamed. But he did not. It was as if a great weight had been lifted from him. With the television still on, Bob fell into a deep and peaceful  sleep in his easy chair.

Over the next few months Bob fell back into his regular routine. The only real change was that everyone at work loved his new Charger. People who had never paid much attention to him before asked him how it handled, how much he had paid and how fast it would go.  He loved that car. He took it to a car wash every week and got the full detailing  and wax. He never again drove on the road where the man with the pickup truck had been.

The next time Bob killed someone it was not quite an accident. Bob had to take a train into New York for a meeting. He could have driven in but there was no way he was going to take his beloved Charger into the city and risk anything happening to it.

Bob hated going into New York. Everything was so fast and loud and the people were so aggressive.  Just walking down the sidewalks was a challenge. He was sure that some people bumped into your real hard on purpose just to prove they were stronger than you.

The meeting went on longer than expected and it was very late at night by the time it was over. Bob was waiting on the subway platform when the bum approached him.  Bob looked around and noticed that he and the bum were the only people in the station. Bob was annoyed at himself for not noticing that earlier. He realized he should have taken a cab instead of going into an empty subway station.

The bum approached and started into a speech about being a wounded homeless  Vietnam Vet who needed money.  Bob hated when they lied about being veterans. It was such an obvious lie too. This guy was about thirty years too young to have been in Vietnam.

Bob tried to ignore the man, but the bum just kept getting closer and more aggressive.  Bob was about to give the man some money but then the threats started.

“You think you’re better than me?” said the bum. “You’re nothing but a four-eyed wimp. Maybe I’ll just take what I need from you without asking.”

The bum approached Bob and Bob decided that this time he was not going to run. He was not going to let someone call him a wimp and he was not going to let someone hit him in the nose.

Bob was holding a heavy computer case with a laptop in it, He swung it and hit the bum in the chest, knocking the bum  balance and onto the tracks. As the bum fell he automatically put his arms up. When the landed on the tracks one of his hands touched the third rail and he was electrocuted instantly with a sicking burning smell.

Bob immediately left the station, went up to street level and hailed a cab.

When Bob got home late that night he did not watch the news of wait for the police. He went to bed and fell into a worry -free sleep. Just before he fell asleep he realized how much easier the kill had been this time.

After that second kill Bob decided he wanted to stop being a target. He wanted to make his body as powerful as his car. He joined a gym and went every day after work.  He was still scrawnier than most people, but every day he was  getting stronger

One the weekends he started chopping wood in the back yard to build up his upper body strength and get a little Sun to make him less pale and wimpy looking. He noticed that women at work started looking at him differently.

One Sunday afternoon Bob was chopping wood in his secluded back yard when  Penny showed up. He looked up from the pile of wood and there she was stating at him.

“You look different.” said Penny. ” I like the new car in the driveway. I guess you finally got rid of the cracker box,” she said with a sarcastic tone.

Penny looked great. Bob  was about to smile at her and tell her how much he missed her and  wanted her back, but then she ruined it by saying.

With an incredibly nasty tone Penny said, “Too bad you were such a wimp when we were together. Look; I just came buy to tell you that I am filing for  divorce and that I am going to ask for a lot. Don’t be stupid enough to fight me on this. Just give me whatever I ask for. That includes that Charger in driveway. Don’t go against me on this.   I have a great lawyer and we both know you don’t have the balls for a fight.” Then she turned around and started to walk away.


Bob felt the weight of the ax in his hands and the strength in this arms.   Then he raised the ax and came up behind Penny. No one was ever going to take the Charger from him. Number three was going to be very easy.

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