Daily Archives: January 5, 2018

Michael Flynn’s Crazy Plot to Kidnap Turkish Dissident Fethullah Gulen – A perfect comedy movie

Michael Flynn’s alleged plot to kidnap Turkish dissident leader Fethullah Gulen reads like a cross between a James Bond novel and a Monty Python skit. Michael Flynn supposedly was willing to risk life imprisonment  for Kidnapping, or even a possible death sentence for Treason, all for the potential of collecting a $15 million bounty the Turkish government has offered on Fethullah Gulen.

Michael Flynn was allegedly willing to commit treason for $15 million

Michael Flynn was allegedly willing to commit treason for $15 million

Normally East Coast Stories reviews movies and books, but the plot of this story is so bizarre, we simply could not resist detailing all the flaws in this moronic plan. It is sort of like revealing  all the plot errors in a really badly written spy novel. Of course, Mr. Flynn denies vehemently the charges, so when Hollywood  make a movie about this, it  will have to use the phrase “inspired by true events”, which is Hollywood’s way of saying, “may or may not be true”

Gulen relaxes at home, safe in Pennsylvania

Gulen relaxes at home, safe in Pennsylvania

Allegedly, the conspirators met at the famed 21 Club in New York to discuss the details of the kidnapping. You don’t have to be criminal mastermind to know that perhaps a crowded restaurant is not the best place to openly plan a Federal crime of the highest magnitude.

To succeed, Flynn would have had to kidnap Fethullah Gulen from Gulen’s  home in Saylorsburg Pennsylvania. This is not just some ordinary American Home. Fethullah Gulen’s house is actually a guarded compound  watched 24 hours a day by teams of FBI agents. All traffic in and out is photographed and the license plates cross-checked against a national database.

Jim Carrey, who will play Michael Flynn in our movie "Kidnapping Gulen"

Jim Carrey, who will play Michael Flynn in our movie “Kidnapping Gulen”

Flynn’s plan was to recruit a team of ex-military people, storm the compound  in Pennsylvania guarded by FBI agents and kidnap Gulen. Flynn’s commando team would then have to somehow get to a private airport and get on to a private jet capable of crossing the Atlantic ocean at the very least.

Johnny Depp will play an over the top President Erdowin

The stupidest part of the plot is that it would probably have been a money loser, even if the Turkish government could have been trusted to actually pay the $15 million. Just the cost of the  the commando team, the jet pilots and the jet itself would have been a lot of money. Then, of course, there are the huge bribes needed for  airport officials, police, government agents, air traffic controllers and customs agents.

Turkish news reporter Tijen Karas

Turkish news reporter Tijen Karas

The chance that not a single person involved would leak the plot  before the event would be  virtually zero. How exactly do you recruit a team of ex-military people and ask them to help you commit treason; hoping  that none of them turns you in to the police? American military men and women are known for their loyalty to the rule of law and something called the Constitution. Flynn assumed he could get an entire team to go against everything they believed in, just for some money. Let’s  face it, if money was the main motivating force in their lives, they would not have chosen the military as a career in the first place.

Turkish actress Naz Elmas will play newscaster Tijen Karas in the movie "Kidnapping Guen"

Turkish actress Naz Elmas will play newscaster Tijen Karas in the movie “Kidnapping Guen”

So, as a movie action/spy story, we have to give Michael Flynn’s idea to kidnap Fethullah Gulen a bad review. However, it might work as a comedy. Jim Carrey would be perfect as Michael Flynn. Jim Carrey has the same skinny goofy looks as Michael Flynn, and is perfect at playing characters who are completely oblivious to how stupid their ideas really are.

Johnny Depp will make the comeback of his career by playing a completely “over-the-top” version of Turkish President Erdowan. It may sound crazy, but Erdowan himself must be a little cracked.  Only an insane Turkish  leader would finance such an attack on its friend The United States. Did Erdowan think the U.S. would just “let it go” if the kidnapping was successful?

Erdowan & Gulen waging a battle for Turkey on 2 continents

Erdowan & Gulen waging a battle for Turkey on 2 continents

Of course, a beautiful woman is required to keep the audience’s interest. Here we would cast Turkish actress Naz Elmas to play the newscaster Tijen Karas, who is desperately trying to keep some semblance of professionalism in reporting the events in modern day Turkey.

We are interested in this story because East Coast Stories has a huge readership in Turkey. We are not really sure why.  Perhaps it is because so many of Turkey’s own writers, journalists and even book reviewers have been arrested and jailed for “high treason”. So to all our readers in Turkey –  Remember this. You are not forgotten . We admire the courage you have to read and write and say whatever you want – no matter what the consequences. No doubt in Turkey, our little story making fun of Flynn and Erdowan’s plot to kidnap Gulen would have gotten East Coast Stories shut down and all of us jailed.

In real life, the alleged Flynn plot to kidnap Fethullah Gulen never got off the ground. Perhaps people Flynn spoke to told him how insane the idea was. Of course, in the movie, the kidnapping will go full scale, with explosions car chases, gun fights and beautiful damsels in distress.

The plot will ultimately fail, however, due to one simple fact. Michael Flynn forgot about the fact that the average citizens in rural Pennsylvania are armed to the teeth. Flynn’s group gets past the FBI, only to be defeated by the brave citizens of Saylorsburg Pennsylvanian,  These good citizens simply will not stand for anyone harassing their neighbor Mr. Gulen.

At the end of the movie, the town of Saylorsburg put up a monument to the victory in their town square, with the following poem.

Good Will On Earth And Peace To Men.

Do not try to harm Gulen.

Americans have guns and guns galore. And every day we buy some more

If you send goons to Gulen’s door. American guns will make them sore.

By the way, if any Hollywood produces actually do  make this film, remember that you owe East Coast Stories some big bucks.

Happy New Year to the brave people of Turkey.