Monthly Archives: January 2018

Everything She Forgot – A Brilliant Mystery/Action Novel

Everything She Forgot by Lisa Ballantyne is a brilliantly written mystery/action novel. A fiery car crash in a blizzard unleashes flashes of memories that have been hidden in a woman’s subconscious since childhood. She embarks on a quest to find the meaning of these memories, and to discover long buried events.

A car crash and fire in a snow storm unleashed hidden memories in

A car crash and fire in a snow storm unleashed hidden memories in Everything She Forgot

Margaret Holloway is a teacher in Northern England, whose world is suddenly changed when she is caught in a multiple car collision in a freak snowstorm.  She is trapped in her car as it catches fire. She is about to burn to death when she is suddenly rescued by a hideous looking giant of a man who then disappears into the night.

In "Everything She Forgot" a woman searches for lost memories of childhood

In “Everything She Forgot” a woman searches for lost memories of childhood

Weeks go by and although Margaret was not hurt physically, she is traumatized by the events. She begins to realize that there is something more going on than just a reaction to the shock of almost getting killed. The fire has brought back long-hidden memories from her childhood, and she searches to recover them.

Lisa Ballantyne - author of Everything She Forgot

Lisa Ballantyne – author of Everything She Forgot

Margaret’s quest takes her into a whole world she had forgotten.  A world that includes Scottish gangsters, family secrets, and a childhood road trip that is a key to why she became a teacher. Above all, there is the nagging feeling than she somehow knows the man who rescued her and that he is the key to everything.

"Everything She Forgot" - A brilliant novel by Lisa Ballantyne

“Everything She Forgot” – A brilliant novel by Lisa Ballantyne

Lisa Ballantyne is a terrific writer. The plot is fascinating and her characters are complex and real. Everything She Forgot is only her second novel, but she has already gained an international reputation.

We highly recommend Everything She Forgot and look forward to reading more from Lisa Ballantyne in the future.

 

Naked Came The Stranger – The 1969 Hoax that became a best selling novel

The 1969 novel Naked Came The Stranger by Penelope Ashe was a hoax written to prove that Americans will read any piece of trash as long as it contains enough sex. The plot made no sense, there was no character development and the writing was awful. However, it was jam-packed with sex scene after sex scene. Add to that the fact that the author was a beautiful woman, and there was a naked woman on the cover, and Naked Came The Stranger was an instant best seller

Naked Came The Stranger the 1969 best selling trash novel that was really a Hoax.

Naked Came The Stranger the 1969 best selling trash novel that was really a Hoax.

In fact, there was no Penelope Ashe. Naked Came The Stranger was written by 24 Newsday journalists and their literary friends  lead by Mike McGrady. They went out of their way to write a bad book. Each of them wrote different parts of the book, and had no discussions with each other about the plot during the writing. This is why the plot seems so disjointed, and the writing styles vary from chapter to chapter. When the first draft was completed Mike McGrady insisted that some of the chapters  be re-done, because then were too well written

Ashe" who pretended to be the author of"Naked Came The Stranger"

Billie Young, AKA “Penelope Ashe” who pretended to be the author of”Naked Came The Stranger”

Once this collection of garbage prose was completed it was time to try to get it published. Everyone agreed that sex novels written by beautiful young women, somehow seem much more titillating than those written by middle-aged men. Billie Young, Mike McGrady’s sister-in-law, therefore agreed to pretend to be the author Penelope Ashe, although she had not written a word.

Mike McGrady, the real force behind Naked Came The Stranger

Mike McGrady, the real force behind Naked Came The Stranger

The next step was to choose a publisher. That was easy. They chose Lyle Stuart, a Fort Lee New Jersey publisher of sleaze books, who was also a Las Vegas casino owner and an overall “colorful” character.  Rumors were that Mr. Stuart might be “connected” to some people. (If you live in New Jersey you know what that phrase means). Lyle Stuart did not question the book’s authenticity. He accepted Billie Young as the author Penelope Ashe.

Lyle Stuart - publisher of Naked Came The Stranger

Lyle Stuart – publisher of Naked Came The Stranger

In fact, Lyle Stuart decided to make a sexy book even sexier. It was Lyle Stuart who decided to put a naked woman on the cover. Of course, there still was some censorship in 1969, so the photo was an “artful” picture showing only a nude young  woman from behind, submissively kneeling on a rug.  The photograph suggests much more than it actually reveals.

The real authors of Naked Came The Stranger

The real authors of Naked Came The Stranger

Lyle Stuart had actually plagiarized the photograph from a Hungarian nudist magazine and did not pay or credit the photographer. Later on when Naked Came The Stranger became a best seller, the Hungarian photographer successfully sued Lyle Stuart, and received payment.

When Naked Came The Stranger was published, it became an instant best seller. Before the end of 1969 it had sold 20,000 copies. At that point, the real authors decided to shame the American public and reveal the truth. They all appeared on The David Frost Show and exposed the hoax.

But the American public was not ashamed of its poor taste in literature. After the revelations on the David Frost Show, sales of Naked Came The Stranger skyrocketed. The book eventually sold over 400,000 copies.

After the book was revealed as a hoax, Americans had the best of both worlds. The could go out and buy Naked Came The Stranger and pretend they were not really just reading it for the sex parts. People could now openly carry a copy of Naked Came The Stranger and say they were just interested in  the hoax and wanted to see just how bad the writing was.

Naked Came the Stranger became the topic of conversations at middle-class suburban cocktail parties throughout 1969 and into the early 1970s. Suburbanites could now openly discuss a raunchy sex book and pretend it was really a literary discussion.

In its own  way, Naked Came The Stranger did reveal quite a lot about American culture in 1969 . Today, Americans can see or read or hear any kind of sexually explicit material instantly on the internet. However, 1969 was a different world. Only 10 years earlier, even such classics as the D.H. Lawrence masterpiece Lady Chatterly’s Lover were still banned throughout the United States. Only a series of long and expensive court cases allowed publishers to begin to print and distribute books that a few years earlier would have landed them in jail.

Released from their Puritanical bonds, Americans were eager to buy and read everything that had been denied to them for so long. If a book like Naked Came The Stranger was released today, it would hardly cause a ripple in the literary community. In 1969 it was a Tsunami.

So remember – books, movies or songs don’t have to be good to be “classic”. What makes something classic is its power to perfectly capture a specific period of time. In 1969, that classic was Naked Came The Stranger.

Cablevision drops Starz and Encore and Cheats Its Customers

Cablevision just dropped the Starz and Encore networks, without any drop in price to Cablevision customers. In fact, this was just one month after Cablevision had actually raised its prices. Less service for a higher price. Starz has some of our favorite shows, including, Outander, Power and Ash vs Evil Dead, all of which we have reviewed on this blog.

Cablevision abruptly dropped Starz, but did not lower the fees to Cablevision customers

Cablevision abruptly dropped Starz, but did not lower the fees to Cablevision customers

This move by Cablevision  is typical of the way that all cable providers continue to behave as if they still have a monopoly and can treat customers any way they want. In fact, cable companies should be bending over backwards to be giving more service to customers and lowering their prices. People no longer need cable companies to get access to shows. Many people are going “unplugged “and getting access through the internet or satellite with no payments to any cable provider.

Outlander is gone from Cablevision

Outlander is gone from Cablevision

The behavior of Cablevision and other cable providers is reminiscent of the way that Blockbuster once treated its customers. Blockbuster not only charged a lot to rent movies, it also hit up  their customers with ridiculous late fees. You had to physically return a video before the due date, but the system was rigged to maximize the late fees.

Will Cablevision one day go the way of Blockbuster?

Will Cablevision one day go the way of Blockbuster?

Most people rented movies on Saturday or Sunday, since it was hard to get to Blockbuster during the work week. However, if you rented on a Saturday, the movie was due by Wednesday. If you returned it the next Saturday, you owed as much on late fees as you had paid to rent the movie. In the early days of Blockbuster, they even charged a 50 cent “rewind fee” on tapes. (Remember the days before DVDs when you had to rewind tapes?)

Power is no longer available on Cablevision

Power is no longer available on Cablevision

While Blockbuster was squeezing their customers for every nickle, Netflix was busy reinventing the business. With Nexflix, customers could get videos at home and keep them as long as they wanted with no late fees. Blockbuster could have beaten Netflix, if Blockbuster had reacted quickly. In the early days, Blockbuster actually had many more titles available than Netflix.

Tower records once seemed like a money making machine.

Tower records once seemed like a money making machine.

Blockbuster should have eliminated late fees, and started letting people order movies online and shipping them to people’s homes. At the time, Blockbuster had the financial might, the customer base and the video library to be able to wipe out Netflix. However, Blockbuster was so intent on trying to maximize short term profits, that it ignored the anger of its customers.

Towards  the end, Blockbuster finally realized the danger it was in, and did try  to fight back against Netflix. Blockbuster eliminated all late fees, lowered its rental charges and began using the internet. But it was too late. Angry customers had left Blockbuster in droves and they never came back.  Blockbuster went bankrupt and its outlets closed.

Cablevision thinks it can cheat its customers forever.

Cablevision thinks it can cheat its customers forever.

Will Cablevision and the other cable providers one day go the way of Blockbuster? They are certainly making the same mistakes as Blockbuster, by arrogantly ignoring competition from new technologies. Some day, perhaps sooner than expected, the idea of paying a company hundreds of dollars a month for video content will seem as as antiquated as dial up internet access.

So our message to Cablevision is simple. Ignore the best interests of you customers and soon they will ignore you. If you think you can last forever, just remember Yahoo, AOL, Tower Records and Blockbuster.

 

SMILF- Rosie O’Donnell Gives The Best Performances Of Her Career

In Showtime’s series SMILF, Rosie O’Donnell gives the best performances of her career. Her character is “Tutu”, a tough, loud, crazy,  but loving Boston-Irish mother whose entire goal is to make sure that her daughter has a better life than Tutu’s own miserable upbringing. It is the role of a lifetime for Rosie O’Donnell, and she is perfect in the part.

Rosie O'Donnell is perfect as Tutu on SMILF

Rosie O’Donnell is perfect as Tutu on SMILF

The SMILF (Single Mom I’d Like to F**K) herself is Bridgette Bird, Tutu’s daughter. Brigitte is played by Frankie Shaw, who is also SMILF’s creator  and main writer. Frankie Shaw’s writing  and acting talents are amazing.  SMILF has comedy, pathos, fantasy sequences, and yet the characters are always true to life. Some of the best scenes are the interactions between Tutu and her daughter Brigitte. A scene may begin with the two of them having a screaming argument but end with Tutu gently giving her winter coat to Bridgette and making sure Bridgette does not get cold walking  home. SMILF reflects the hate-love-insane relationship between a mother and daughter when both are strong willed, stubborn, independent women.

Frankie Shaw as Wonder Woman on SMILF

Frankie Shaw as Wonder Woman on SMILF

In many ways Rosie O’Donnell is like the character she plays on SMILF. Rosie’s career and life have had huge ups and downs. The downs are usually because Rosie O’Donnell does something crazy to sabotage herself. For example, Rosie O’Donnell at one point said that she thought there might actually be something to the conspiracy theories claiming that the Bush Administration, not outside terrorists, was responsible for destroying the World Trade Center on 9/11. This idiotic statement got her hated for years, especially in the New York area.

SMILF pay homage to the German film Run Lola Run

SMILF pays homage to the German film Run Lola Run

Rosie O’Donnell also managed to get herself fired from The View, not once but twice. The View is that obnoxious T.V. show where a bunch of very loud women sit around screeching about subjects that they think are interesting.  If you can watch this show for more than 10 minutes you deserve a medal. Rosie simply could not take a back seat to any of the other women, especially Barbra Walters or Whoopi Goldberg. In any difference of opinion Rosie just could not let go of the argument. Apparently when the cameras were off,  there were several occasions where Rosie O’Donnell had to be physically restrained from attacking one or more of the other women back stage.

Samara Weaving as Nelson Rose in SMILF (Season 1, Episode 3). - Photo Credit: Lacey Terrell/SHOWTIME. - Photo ID: SMILF_103_1550.R.jpg

Samara Weaving as Nelson Rose in SMILF (Season 1, Episode 3). – Photo Credit: Lacey Terrell/SHOWTIME. – Photo ID: SMILF_103_1550.R.jpg

However, these  very personality flaws are what make Rosie O’Donnell so perfect to play the wild mother in SMILF. In one episode Tutu (Rosie) has a manic episode in whcih she wades into Boston harbor in the middle of winter. She then walks to her local bank to withdraw money. When a concerned bank official points out that she is soaking wet, Tutu calmly and politely points out that as far as she knows there are no rules against withdrawing funds while wearing wet clothing.

Ravin Goodwin & Frankie Shaw on SMILF

Ravin Goodwin & Frankie Shaw on SMILF

The apple does not fall far from the tree for Tutu’s daughter Bridgette. This single mom has a very hard life tying to make ends meet on a series of dead-end jobs. However, she does have a wild fantasy life where she imagines what her life should be. In one episode, Bridgette imagines herself as Wonder Woman, complete with the costume and swordplay. Another episode of SMILF is a takeoff on the famous German film Run Lola Run. (If you have never seen Run Lola Run, we highly recommend it). The Run Bridgette Run  episode of SMILF  even has parts where Bridgette’s hair turns bright red, and she starts speakign German. Viewers who had never seen the German original probably wondered what the Hell was going on.

 

Frankie Shaw on SMILF. Beautiful, crazy, complex, but a great mom.

Frankie Shaw on SMILF. Beautiful, crazy, complex, but a great mom.

Frankie Shaw has taken a real chance in creating the character of Bridgette Bird on SMILF. Bridgette is not perfect at all. She is beautiful, but also very self centered. There are times where Bridgette is unnecessarily cruel to her friends and especially her mother. However, Bridgette’s redeeming quality is that her son Larry (yes she named her son Larry Bird) is always the most important aspect of her life. No matter what other stresses there are, Bridgette never loses her patience with Larry, and always makes sure he is well taken care of.

Connie Britton as Ally in SMILF Rich but half crazy

Connie Britton as Ally in SMILF Rich but half crazy

The rest of the cast is also terrific. Rafi Gomez is Rafi, the baby daddy, who has his own struggles with alcoholism and relationships. Connie Britton is Ally, a rich Bostonian who Bridgette works for part time as a handy woman and confidant. Ally shows that even people with lots of money can have crazy lives. Samara Weaving is Nelson Rose, Rafi’s new girlfriend. She is optimistic, cheerful and successful; everything Bridgette is not, and it drives Bridgette crazy. Raven Goodwin plays Bridgette’s best friend Eliza, who is responsible for bringing some sense of sanity into Bridgette’s life. Everyone needs a best friend like Eliza.

We recommend SMILF as one of the best new shows.

Michael Flynn’s Crazy Plot to Kidnap Turkish Dissident Fethullah Gulen – A perfect comedy movie

Michael Flynn’s alleged plot to kidnap Turkish dissident leader Fethullah Gulen reads like a cross between a James Bond novel and a Monty Python skit. Michael Flynn supposedly was willing to risk life imprisonment  for Kidnapping, or even a possible death sentence for Treason, all for the potential of collecting a $15 million bounty the Turkish government has offered on Fethullah Gulen.

Michael Flynn was allegedly willing to commit treason for $15 million

Michael Flynn was allegedly willing to commit treason for $15 million

Normally East Coast Stories reviews movies and books, but the plot of this story is so bizarre, we simply could not resist detailing all the flaws in this moronic plan. It is sort of like revealing  all the plot errors in a really badly written spy novel. Of course, Mr. Flynn denies vehemently the charges, so when Hollywood  make a movie about this, it  will have to use the phrase “inspired by true events”, which is Hollywood’s way of saying, “may or may not be true”

Gulen relaxes at home, safe in Pennsylvania

Gulen relaxes at home, safe in Pennsylvania

Allegedly, the conspirators met at the famed 21 Club in New York to discuss the details of the kidnapping. You don’t have to be criminal mastermind to know that perhaps a crowded restaurant is not the best place to openly plan a Federal crime of the highest magnitude.

To succeed, Flynn would have had to kidnap Fethullah Gulen from Gulen’s  home in Saylorsburg Pennsylvania. This is not just some ordinary American Home. Fethullah Gulen’s house is actually a guarded compound  watched 24 hours a day by teams of FBI agents. All traffic in and out is photographed and the license plates cross-checked against a national database.

Jim Carrey, who will play Michael Flynn in our movie "Kidnapping Gulen"

Jim Carrey, who will play Michael Flynn in our movie “Kidnapping Gulen”

Flynn’s plan was to recruit a team of ex-military people, storm the compound  in Pennsylvania guarded by FBI agents and kidnap Gulen. Flynn’s commando team would then have to somehow get to a private airport and get on to a private jet capable of crossing the Atlantic ocean at the very least.

Johnny Depp will play an over the top President Erdowin

The stupidest part of the plot is that it would probably have been a money loser, even if the Turkish government could have been trusted to actually pay the $15 million. Just the cost of the  the commando team, the jet pilots and the jet itself would have been a lot of money. Then, of course, there are the huge bribes needed for  airport officials, police, government agents, air traffic controllers and customs agents.

Turkish news reporter Tijen Karas

Turkish news reporter Tijen Karas

The chance that not a single person involved would leak the plot  before the event would be  virtually zero. How exactly do you recruit a team of ex-military people and ask them to help you commit treason; hoping  that none of them turns you in to the police? American military men and women are known for their loyalty to the rule of law and something called the Constitution. Flynn assumed he could get an entire team to go against everything they believed in, just for some money. Let’s  face it, if money was the main motivating force in their lives, they would not have chosen the military as a career in the first place.

Turkish actress Naz Elmas will play newscaster Tijen Karas in the movie "Kidnapping Guen"

Turkish actress Naz Elmas will play newscaster Tijen Karas in the movie “Kidnapping Guen”

So, as a movie action/spy story, we have to give Michael Flynn’s idea to kidnap Fethullah Gulen a bad review. However, it might work as a comedy. Jim Carrey would be perfect as Michael Flynn. Jim Carrey has the same skinny goofy looks as Michael Flynn, and is perfect at playing characters who are completely oblivious to how stupid their ideas really are.

Johnny Depp will make the comeback of his career by playing a completely “over-the-top” version of Turkish President Erdowan. It may sound crazy, but Erdowan himself must be a little cracked.  Only an insane Turkish  leader would finance such an attack on its friend The United States. Did Erdowan think the U.S. would just “let it go” if the kidnapping was successful?

Erdowan & Gulen waging a battle for Turkey on 2 continents

Erdowan & Gulen waging a battle for Turkey on 2 continents

Of course, a beautiful woman is required to keep the audience’s interest. Here we would cast Turkish actress Naz Elmas to play the newscaster Tijen Karas, who is desperately trying to keep some semblance of professionalism in reporting the events in modern day Turkey.

We are interested in this story because East Coast Stories has a huge readership in Turkey. We are not really sure why.  Perhaps it is because so many of Turkey’s own writers, journalists and even book reviewers have been arrested and jailed for “high treason”. So to all our readers in Turkey –  Remember this. You are not forgotten . We admire the courage you have to read and write and say whatever you want – no matter what the consequences. No doubt in Turkey, our little story making fun of Flynn and Erdowan’s plot to kidnap Gulen would have gotten East Coast Stories shut down and all of us jailed.

In real life, the alleged Flynn plot to kidnap Fethullah Gulen never got off the ground. Perhaps people Flynn spoke to told him how insane the idea was. Of course, in the movie, the kidnapping will go full scale, with explosions car chases, gun fights and beautiful damsels in distress.

The plot will ultimately fail, however, due to one simple fact. Michael Flynn forgot about the fact that the average citizens in rural Pennsylvania are armed to the teeth. Flynn’s group gets past the FBI, only to be defeated by the brave citizens of Saylorsburg Pennsylvanian,  These good citizens simply will not stand for anyone harassing their neighbor Mr. Gulen.

At the end of the movie, the town of Saylorsburg put up a monument to the victory in their town square, with the following poem.

Good Will On Earth And Peace To Men.

Do not try to harm Gulen.

Americans have guns and guns galore. And every day we buy some more

If you send goons to Gulen’s door. American guns will make them sore.

By the way, if any Hollywood produces actually do  make this film, remember that you owe East Coast Stories some big bucks.

Happy New Year to the brave people of Turkey.