Category Archives: Romance & Mystery Stories

Romantic Short Stories and Mystery Stories

Revolutionary Road – Kate Winslet & Leonardo DiCaprio turn from Lovers to Haters

The 2008 movie Revolutionary Road is a shock to everyone who remembers Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio as the young lovers from the 1997 film Titanic. In Revolutionary Road Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are April and Frank Wheeler, a 1950’s suburban couple who hate each other.  Revolutionary Road is an incredibly well-made film where the tension and suspense slowly build towards a final explosive ending.

Leonardo DiCaprio & Kate Winslet as an unhappy 1950s couple in Revolutionary Road
Leonardo DiCaprio & Kate Winslet as an unhappy 1950s couple in Revolutionary Road

In a way, Revolutionary Road is a new version of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, but in some ways even more shocking. In Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, it is obvious from the beginning that the Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor characters loath each other. In Revolutionary Road, April and Frank Wheeler at first appear to have a perfect life, with the small exception that they are slightly bored.

Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

But things start to spin out of control when April comes up with the wild idea that they should drop everything and begin a new life in Paris. The idea is absurd. Neither April nor Frank speak French, they have two small children and no job prospects other than April’s notion that she can work as a secretary for U.S. government agencies in Paris. Nevertheless, Frank jumps at the idea and looks forward to quitting his boring job and “discovering himself” in France.

Kathy Bates as a devious realtor in Revolutionary Road
Kathy Bates as a devious realtor in Revolutionary Road

Then reality and success start to split Frank and April apart. As soon as Frank knows he will been quitting his job, his performance improves. Since he is no longer afraid of being fired, he takes more chances and submits more creative ideas to senior management. This gets him noticed and promoted. There is also the added excitement of beginning an affair with a young secretary.  The more successful he becomes, the more he realizes how idiotic it would be to drop everything and move to Paris.

Zoe Kazan as a sexually harassed secretary in the 1950s in Revolutionary Road
Zoe Kazan as a sexually harassed secretary in the 1950s in Revolutionary Road

April, meanwhile is living more and more in a dream world and makes all the preparations to move, including putting the house up for sale and telling the kids they are moving. She starts to hate Frank when she understands that he no longer believes in the fantasy.

David Harbour & Kathryn Hahn in Revolutionary Road
David Harbour & Kathryn Hahn in Revolutionary Road

What makes Revolutionary Road so good is the extraordinarily powerful cast. Kathy Bates is Helen, a mild-mannered but devious realtor willing to say anything to make a sale. Michael Shannon is Helen’s grown son, who is a PhD in math but also very mentally disturbed.

Michael Shannon in Revolutionary Road
Michael Shannon in Revolutionary Road

He enjoys saying exactly the right things to help drive Frank and April apart. His superior intelligence means he knows precisely which wounds to prod to cause the maximum pain.

David Harbour and Kathryn Hahn are the next door neighbors, who are immensely jealous of Frank and April, but pretend to be their best friends.  Zoe Kazan is the secretary Frank has an affair with. Zoe Kazan perfectly portrays the emotions of a young woman in the 1950’s in a compromising position.

Why didn't Rose move over and let Jack climb onto the door?
Why didn’t Rose move over and let Jack climb onto the door?

One unexpected impact of seeing Revolutionary Road is that it makes us look at the movie Titanic in a whole new light. What would have happened to Jack Dawson and (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Rose Dewitt Bukater (Kate Winslet) if Jack had not drown in the cold Atlantic? Would they have lived happily ever after, or would they have become a miserable pair, slowly growing to hate the sight or each other? Would Rose have resented being married to an uneducated, unsuccessful artist? Would Jack have longed for all the other women he could have been with instead of Rose? (Or course, the most common question most people ask about Titanic, is “why didn’t Rose just move her fat butt over a little and let Jack climb up onto the floating door with her?”)

Leonardo DiCaprio jokingly addresses the Titanic controversy
Leonardo DiCaprio jokingly addresses the Titanic controversy

Titanic meanderings aside, Revolutionary Road is a powerful film and is well worth watching. Revolutionary Road has top actors at the top of their craft, with a riveting plot and an unexpected ending. We give it our highest rating.

The Thin Man movies – when drunks were funny

In 1934,  a “B” movie titled The Thin Man premiered. Audiences loved it so much, it spawned 5 Thin Man sequels which were given top  “A” billing. The Thin Man movies are still fun to watch, but the first thing modern viewers notice  is how much public attitudes towards alcohol changed, even during the course of the series.

William Powell & Myrna Loy in "The Thin Man"

William Powell & Myrna Loy in “The Thin Man”

William Powell stars as the heavy drinking private detective Nick Charles. He is helped in all his capers by his beautiful upper class wife Nora (Myrna Loy).  As The Thin Man series progresses, we learn that Nora fell in love with Nick partly because she found his world of crime and adventure so much more exciting than her sterile existence as a wealthy socialite.

The beautiful Myrna Loy

The beautiful Myrna Loy

Having people from different social classes fall in love was a popular theme in the 1930s. Most people today do not realize that Blondie was originally a showgirl (which is why she is so well-endowed). Dagwood came from a wealthy family, and it was considered shocking that he would actually marry such a “loose woman”. The Blondie comic strip first appeared in 1930 and Dagwood was disowned by his family when he married Blondie. He was forced to get a job for the first time in his life. That is why Dagwood is such an inept employee.

Blondie was a showgirl and Dagwood from a wealthy family.

Blondie was a showgirl and Dagwood from a wealthy family.

 In The Thin Man movies, Nora is beautiful, intelligent and madly in love with Nick. They were a very modern couple for the 1930s. They treated each other as equals, solved crimes together and were never jealous.

Then there was the drinking. Nick is shown drinking in almost every scene of the original The Thin Man. It is considered an amusing quirk of his personality.

Blondie in French 1931-1931. The mismatched couple was popular world wide

Blondie in French 1931-1931. The mismatched couple was popular world wide

The 6 Thin Man movies went from 1934-1947, with Nick drinking less alcohol in each film until he eventually gives up drinking completely. Being a drunk was no longer socially acceptable in American society.

Still, The Thin Man movies are fun to watch and are very cleverly written. The finale of every Thin Man Movie is when Nick and Nora gather all the murder suspects into a single room and reveal exactly who the murderer is. This format has been followed in countless movies and T.V. shows ever since.

So for for some fun, watch The Thin Man movies and see a modern lovely couple solve crimes 84 years ago. And what the heck, have a few drinks while you watch.

 

 

The Top 5 Wide-Eyed Women In The Movies

For some reason Hollywood loves actresses with giant eyes that are set far apart.  It must have to do with how they look during close up camera shots. However, sometimes when you start to notice their giant eyes, it is so distracting it becomes difficult to actually concentrate on their acting. Here is East Coast Stories list of the top 5 Wide-Eyed Women on the big screen;

  • # 5 Karen Allen, who was in Star Man with Jeff Bridges and who had Indiana Jones‘ child. Karen Allen was also a main character in Animal House.

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  • #4 Mary Elizabeth Weinstead who recently gave an exciting  and dramatic performance in 10 Cloverfield Lane.   Mary Elizabeth Weinstead is not only beautiful, she is also an incredibly talented actor. In 10 Cloverfield Lane she gets the chance to demonstrate her full range of talents.

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  • # 3 Uma Thurman the deadly woman with a samurai sword in the Kill Bill films. Her eyes are set so far apart in her face, that some people believe that every picture has been Photo-shopped.

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  • # 2 Zooey Deschanel whose giant bangs cannot cover up her giant eyes.

Zooey Deschanel 07-07-2009Zooey Deschanel 2009-07-07

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It isn’t just that the eyes of these actresses are huge. The eyes are actually further apart than they are in most people. How is this possible? The skulls of these women are not any larger than those of other people. How can their eyes be bigger and set further apart than those of other people? Every one of these women are excellent actors. It was their eyes that first got them noticed, but it was their talent which made them stars.

Nothing But A Smile – book Review

In the 1940s if someone saw a picture of a naked woman, the joke would be that she was “wearing nothing But A Smile“. Of course, in those days pictures of naked women were not easy to find. That was long before  the internet; and even Playboy magazine was decades away.

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This was during World War II, and the armed forces were very strict about what their “boys” were allowed to see. There were “pin-ups” of women like Betty Grable in every Army barracks. Then there were the hidden “girly  magazines” which were secretly passed around and sold.

Nothing But A Smile by Steve Amick is a novel about where those girly magazines came from. The hero of the story is Wink Dutton, an Army Illustrator who is wounded in his right hand and can no longer draw.  He is shipped home and is despondent that he can no longer make a living.

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He winds up teaming up with the wife of one of his Army buddies who owns a photography shop. She has been keeping secret from her husband the fact that the shop is losing money and may go out of business.  She (Sally)  and Wink decide to make money publishing their own erotic magazine, with Wink as the photographer and Sally as the model.

Nothing But A Smile is a well written and fun to read novel.  Steve Amick has kept  it historically accurate with the views of nudity and sex. Pictures that were considered naughty or  even illegal in 1942 would be mild by today’s standards.

The characters are interesting and the plot is great. Wink and Sally begin their adventure to make a few bucks without actually realizing what they are getting into. There are questions they forgot to ask when they started.  Isn’t  it wrong to take nude pictures of your friend’s wife while he is away fighting a war? Can you really stay emotionally detached from the model you are taking naked pictures of?

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They also forgot that the girly magazine business already existed and has some rules they are ignoring.  There are very rough and violent characters in that world. There are laws and the  moral standards of neighbors. In other words, a lot of people who don’t want a couple of amateurs just showing up unannounced.

We recommend Nothing But A Smile and hope you enjoy the book as much as we did.

The Winter Goddess

The Winter Goddess stood in the snow and glanced in Eric’s direction. In his  delirious state, he knew she was the same  vision that Viking warriors must have seen hundreds of years ago just before they died of battle wounds.

Eric peered through the snow, but he just could not see her clearly. She was there, but somehow just out of focus – just out of reach. She looked directly at him and smiled. Her skin was incredibly pale and beautiful and her long golden hair moved slightly in the wind.  The Winter Goddess called out to him in in a soulful  soft voice, but he could not understand her. She was speaking some ancient dialect of long forgotten tribes of the far north.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of Eric’s mind was the vague realization that he was  in the final stages of hypothermia.  He had passed through the phases of shivering and dizziness and had entered the final  levels of confusion and rapid heart beat.

Eric’s heart was racing like a small engine about to explode. His heart was going at such a rate that he had stopped shivering. For the first time in many hours he felt comfortable. Then he actually began to feel warm and even hot.

As he walked towards the Winter Goddess Eric shed the clothing which was making him hot.  Off went the jacket, the sweater and shirt and finally the pants and underclothing. Eric strode confidently through the snow. He was warm and happy as he got closer to the Winter Goddess.

Miles away the searchers were looking in the wrong direction for Eric. The Norwegians were angry that they had to risk their own lives trying to find an American who was arrogant and foolish enough to go off alone in the Norwegian wilderness in Winter.

The American had left no note, no map of where he was going, not even a message with the innkeeper as to what direction he was headed. The searchers shook their heads in disgust at the lack of respect the American had shown for the wilderness.

But Eric knew nothing of the searchers anger or disgust. He had entered another realm; another level of existence.  He had finally reached the Goddess of Winter.  She smiled at him and took Eric into her arms. Her breasts felt warm against his chest.  Eric had expected her skin to be cold, but instead the Goddess of Winter’s skin was soft and warm as she gently caressed him.

Now that he had reached the Goddess, Eric could finally relax. He had been walking for so long and was so tired that it felt  wonderful to stop and relax.

The Winter Goddess whispered in Eric’s ear and gently stroked his hair.  Suddenly he could understand her language.  She was telling Eric that he was home now. That all his struggles were over and all his battles had been won. It was time to come in from the cold and feast at the long table with all the Gods and Goddesses.

Eric felt the peace and relaxation for which he had spent so many years searching. The Winter Goddess continued to hug him and keep him warm in the snow as his racing heart gradually slowed down and finally came to a smooth and wonderful stop.

The Gallaghers back and crazier than ever

America’s favorite White Trash family has returned in Season 6 of Showtime’s Shameless, and from the fist episode it is better than ever. While the Gallagher clan has many notorious members; the two driving forces of the plot have always been the lives of  Frank Gallagher (played by William H. Macy) and his daughter Fiona (played by Emmy Rossum).

Emily 2Fiona’s goal in life has always been to prove to everyone, especially herself, that she is completely different than her father. However, as her character has developed, it becomes increasingly obvious that  she and Frank, in fact, are much more alike than Fiona would ever admit.

Like Frank, Fiona struggles with drug and alcohol dependence. However, unlike Frank, she tries to fight these forces, while Frank embraces them willingly.

 Fiona Gallagher is beautiful, smart and sexy. However she is also reckless, wild and self-destructive.  She may no longer be addicted to drugs, but she is certainly an adrenaline junkie who craves crazy sex with crazy men in crazy places. Emma Rossum has appeared topless or naked in many many episodes.  Her fabulously beautiful body sometimes distracts critics from mentioning what an astoundingly superb actor she is.

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It is impossible to imagine  anyone but Emmy Rossum in the role of Fiona Gallagher. Shameless without Emmy Rossum would be like trying to have The Sopranos without James Gandolfini.

We look forward to seeing how the character of Fiona continues to develop. We also look forward to following the career of Emmy Rossum in whatever acting challenges she takes on in the future.

They Live – a Socialist horror movie

If Bernie Sanders had become a movie director instead of a Senator, then They Live would have been his film. They Live is an incredibly bad 1988 horror movie with a strong  Socialist message.  However, like a lot bad horror films it is really fun to watch. In fact, over the years it has developed its own cult following.

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The movie stars professional wrestler rowdy Roddy Piper as an unemployed construction worker just trying  to get by.  Times are hard, unemployment is massive and tent cities of homeless people are growing.

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Then one day Roddy finds a pair of sunglasses and when he puts them on he sees the world as it really is. It turns out that aliens from another planet are living among us disguised as humans.  The aliens are controlling everything. They have chosen a small group of cooperating humans to make rich and powerful, while the rest of the humans suffer.

There is a resistance movement which is manufacturing the sunglasses so that people can see the truth. Roddy, being the hero of the film, ends up joining the resistance.

The movie has everything that makes bad horror films so great. There is a ridiculous plot, bizarre looking aliens, gory fight scenes , and  corny one-liners. Of course, being 1988 there is also  gratuitous nudity, with  Cibby Danyla having no purpose in the movie other that to show off her naked breasts.

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Roddy’s love interest in the film is Meg Foster, who is known for her astoundingly beautiful  blue eyes. She has become quite a famous actress since They Live, but her start was as a sunglasses-wearing Alien killer.

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The surprising part of the film is that Roddy Piper actually does a good job as an actor. However this is the only movie he ever did. Unfortunately Roddy died in July 2015 at the age of 61. He was know among all the wrestlers as a great guy who was always a lot of fun to work with.

So during this political season, you may want to have some fun watching a horror film that tries to beat the audience over the head with a political message.  According to They Live, we are not being paranoid. There really is a small group of rich people that control the whole world. There also really is an alien menace threatening our way of live. However, these aliens did not come from across the border, but from across the universe.

Flesh and Bone – an addictive insult to ballet

According to the Straz network’s Flesh And Bone, all ballerinas are drug addicted, anorexic, neurotic nymphomaniacs who come from abusive childhoods. In real life, ballet dancers are among the most hard working and talented professional athletes on the planet. They take care of their bodies and undergo a training regime that most people would find amazing to witness.

A series about the real life of ballet dancers struggling to reach the top levels of this demanding performing art would have been fascinating. Instead, Flesh And Bone is a combination of a cheap rip-off of Black Swan, and Deep Throat.

The star of of the series is Claire Robbins (played by Sarah Hay). She comes from Pittsburgh to New York to escape the incestuous advances of  her brother. He is an Army veteran and is basically insane due to things he saw and did in Iraq.

This is another stereotype that T.V. shows and movies really need to end.  Please,  please stop portraying every soldier who ever served in Iraq or Afghanistan as some sort of psychologically damaged danger to society. Our soldiers deserve better than that.

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Claire seems completely psychotic herself. She does not like men touching her and ran away from her brother. However, she voluntarily spends all her free time performing in a Brooklyn strip club for fun.

One of the weirdest shows is the Thanksgiving episode. Clair feels guilty for leaving, and returns home to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving.  Once there, she does end up having sex with her bother. Not exactly a Hallmark Channel Thanksgiving special.

Like most Straz Network shows, Flesh And Bone tries to get the most female nudity on screen whenever possible. Apparently ballerinas love walking around naked back stage, and in their apartments, and basically anywhere they can.

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The one bright light of Flesh And Bones is the fantastic acting ability of Ben Daniels. He plays Paul Grayson, the gay Artistic Director of the Ballet company. Instead of being a stereotype weak homosexual, his character is a tough as nails leader. He runs with an iron fist the company he started, and God help anyone who crosses him.

Still, despite all the soft core porn and crazy characters, you may find yourself becoming addicted to this series. It is like junk food. You know  all the salt and preservatives and fat are awful – but they taste just so damn good. After a few episodes you may say, “I will not watch another episode of this crap.” But you know you will.

Golshifeth Farahani

Golshifeth Farahani is the Iranian actress who played Pharaoh’s wife in Exodus Gods and Kings.   While not well known in the United States, she is a celebrity in France and infamous in Iran

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She has been told in no uncertain terms that she is no longer welcome in Iran, after posing nude for a French magazine.

http://iprime.wordpress.com/

Exactly why she chose to pose naked is still a matter of debate. Some women applaud her independence.  However, some struggling  Iranian actresses are furious at her. They say she has made it much harder for all serious actresses trying to make a living in Iran, where some men in power already feel that all actresses are no better than prostitutes.

Golshifeth Farahani certainly did not need to pose nude to get attention. She is an accomplished singer and has appeared in numerous films. She also has one of the most strikingly beautiful faces on the silver screen.

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Even in traditional conservative Iranian clothing and headscafr Goldshifeth Farahani stands out. She did not need to get naked to prove her beauty to the world.

However, Golshifeth Farahani is not just another pretty actress looking for attention. She is using her celebrity as a way to expose the daily injustices and abuses that take place against women in Iran. She points out how women in the Islamic world are forced to constantly hide not only their bodies, but the very essence of who they are.

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Golshifeth Farahani says that , “I lied a million times from the times. From the time I first went to school I was forces to lie to survive.” Perhaps it is no coincidence that this photo of Goldshiefth makes her look very much like an Iranian Kainess Everdeen

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In her own very feminine way, Golshifeth Farahani is a true freedom fighter. She is what the Islamic dictators fear every bit as much as a team of Navy Seals. She is a strong free woman, not afraid to show the world exactly who she is.

Attack of the Naked Women

The stock market has crashed. The crime rate is rising. Racial tensions are high and police morale is low. The mass transit system is falling apart. So New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio  has decided that the top priority of his administration should be to protect us all from the “threat” poised by beautiful young women who pose semi-nude for the Tourists in Times Square.

Exactly why this is a police matter, de Blasio is having a tough time explaining. The tourists love the girls. This is exactly the sort of decadence they hoped to see when they boarded planes in the Midwest to come to the Big Apple.

No one who lives or works in New York is upset. That is because anyone who actually lives or works in New York City avoids Times Square at all costs.

The New York Supreme Court is not even concerned about the young women. It ruled more than a year ago that it is perfectly legal for women to be topless anywhere in New York at any time.

The Mayor’s brilliant plan is to arrest the women for illegally conducting a “business” since they take tips from tourists who take their pictures. When told that this might not fly legally, his next idea is that we should re-open the streets to traffic in Times Square. He would rather have the pollution, noise and danger of the extra cars, than risk seeing a female nipple.

The Mayor seems to be missing the point that Freedom of Expression is what this country is all about. After all, if a beautiful young woman cannot show her patriotism by painting her breasts Red, White and Blue and displaying them to the World, then the terrorists really have won.

WiFi and Naked Coffee

“Usually I’m naked when I drink coffee,” the girl whispered into her iPhone. ” I sleep in the nude, and I guess I am too lazy to put any clothing on before I have that first cup of coffee. Every morning I stand there in my apartment naked with the coffee cup in my hand. There is something amazingly sensual about the feel of the warm liquid going down my throat.

There are times I wish I could just stay nude all day.”

Joseph sat mesmerized, trying to pretend he was not listening to every word the young woman on the couch next to him was saying. Joseph was at a  coffee shop he had never been to before in Soho . It prided itself in its laid-back atmosphere. There were no tables or regular chairs; just soft couches and big easy chairs. The regulars got their extra large cappuccinos and then spent hours sipping their drinks and using the free WiFi. The coffee shop was packed to capacity day and night and you had to squeeze onto the tiny couches and sit next to strangers.

Of course, Joseph had immediately noticed the girl when she sat next to him. She was gorgeous and sensual, dressed in black jeans and a tight black top. Her brown hair cascaded over her shoulders in a very natural style.

Now that he overheard her speaking about walking around her apartment naked, Joseph looked up from his laptop computer and sneaked another glance at the girl.  She was speaking  on her iPhone, while at the same time typing furiously on her own laptop computer.  She was expertly juggling both devices, plus her cup of coffee and paying no attention whatsoever to Joseph, who was sitting so close that their thighs almost touched.

“No, I’ve never spilled hot coffee on my nipples. What a thing to say. You are just terrible,” whispered the girl into the phone giggling slightly.  Her tone of voice was in a teasing, laughing manner, and Joseph was dying to know exactly what her relationship was with whoever was on the other end of the phone. More than anything in the world Joseph wanted to be the person on the other end of the phone.

“Well, I’ve got to go,” said the girl suddenly as she hung up the phone, and closed her laptop. Joseph sighed slightly as he watched her walk away in her skintight Jeans.

Joseph decided it was time to try to get some work done on his own laptop, but when he looked at it all he saw was the dreaded” Blue Screen of Death”. He tried re-booting. He tried Ctrl-Alt-Delete. He tried physically removing the battery and re-installing it. Nothing worked. No matter what he did the computer screen stayed just a solid blue page. His computer was now nothing more than a large paperweight.

Then his cell phone dinged and a text message appeared.  It read, “Joseph – type CVd77@31Y into your computer and all will be well – your couch girlfriend.”

At this point, Joseph was desperate and he followed the instructions and typed the code into his laptop. The second he hit “Enter” a picture appeared with a message under it.

The picture was of the girl who minutes ago had been sitting on the couch next to be him.  However, instead of wearing jeans and a top she was wearing nothing at all.  She was naked and drinking a large cup of steaming coffee. The message under the picture read,

“Joseph – your computer systems need better protection. I was able to use a simple trick and steal all your passwords and get into your systems while you were listening  to my phone call.”  The message went on to explain that her name was April Massey and that she was a computer security expert. She had her own company that set up security on computers. There was a link to the website for her company, and a list of prices for different security packages offered.

Joseph spent the next 45 minutes checking every part of his computer to make sure he had not lost any data. Then he spent the next half hour changing every password on  every link he could remember.

As he was doing this, however, he kept toggling back to the naked picture of April. Finally he decided to make it his screen saver. He was so intent on looking at her breasts that it was a long time before he noticed the little  ♥ heart shaped character at the bottom of the picture. When he clicked on it a new message appeared,

“Joseph – you are the only one who actually got the naked coffee picture. Everyone else just gets the Blue Screen of Death and the security system message.  I think you are kind of cute. Next time a beautiful woman sits one inch from you on a couch how about actually talking to her? By the way, I don’t really drink coffee nude in my apartment in the morning. Every morning I am right here at 6am on that same couch.”

Joseph re-read that message 10 times. He could not decide it it was for real or if April was playing him for an idiot  for the second time in one day. There was only one thing he did know for sure. At 6 am tomorrow morning he was going to be right here on this same couch – waiting.

Naked and Afraid – The Stupid show everyone watches

The sheer stupidity of Naked And Afraid on the Discovery Channel is what makes the show so much fun to watch.  If you have never seen this show, the basic concept is that a man and a woman are placed naked in a jungle or an island and must survive for almost 3 weeks. They are complete strangers, and the first time they ever see each other they are naked.

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There is not enough space to list all the ridiculous items in this series, so we will just touch on some of the most hilarious;

  • The show takes itself SO seriously.  As viewers, we are somehow supposed to believe that these people are really in danger. This; despite the fact that the “survivalists” are at all times surrounded by a Camera Crew, a Sound Technician, a Director, and all the laborers who carry the food,  equipment and set-up camps for these crews.
  • We are supposed to pretend that nakedness is part of a normal survival scenario.
    Through the years, there have been many true stories of people suddenly being thrust into desperate survival situations.  Planes have crashed in a jungle. There are shipwrecks. Storms have destroyed homes.  In any of these real situations, the people were afraid, but they were certainly not naked.  The naked component is there for the sole purpose of increasing ratings.

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  • The naked people are pixelated.  Since the Discovery Channel is on basic cable, it cannot show naked genitalia or naked female breasts. However, they do  get around this as much as possible by blurring only the absolute minimum. Viewers can get a very good idea of exactly what the naked people look like. There is also the titillating feature that the people move around a lot and the blurring does not always keep up with the movement. There is no doubt that many of the viewers watch the show hoping to get a glance of something forbidden. If this seems cynical, just take a look at the comments on the internet. The most common question people ask about Naked and Afraid is “Where can I see a version of the show without anything  blurred out?” The disappointing answer is “Nowhere.” However,  we all  know that eventually someone is going to steal an uncensored print and release a truly naked version of the show on the internet.

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  • The contestants are good-looking exhibitionists. Take a look at the contestants in the picture shown above. Do their bodies look like those of the “average” American who might get caught in a survival situation? Of course not. They have great bodies, and love showing them to people. If your plane crashed on a remote island chances are you would be with a bunch of middle aged fat people rather than the very  sexy Jane & Tarzan types we see here.
  • Many of the contestants don’t make clothing.
    Despite the fact that it is easy to make some basic coverings from palm leaves or other items, most of the contestants do not.  In particular, the men seem to especially enjoy leaving their penises to swing free.  There is no doubt that most men would place a top priority on covering up this sensitive part of the anatomy to protect it from sun and scrapes. However, the men on this show, want very much  to share their little friend with the world.

Despite all of its flaws, or maybe because of them,  the show is actually fun to watch.  It does teach you something about human nature.  The contestants  come to the show with various level of survival skills and we see which skills are useful and which are not.  It turns out that the most important skill is a positive attitude and the ability to encourage others. The people who get along and work together do well regardless of their basic skills.  Those who argue with each other end up miserable.

Of course, if you are ever really find yourself in a situation like this, here are  are the  3 easy to follow steps which will keep you and your partner alive.

  • Step 1 – Make weapons from the sticks and rocks all around you. Spears are easy to make and are very effective.
  • Step 2 – Use your weapons to attack the Director, Camera & Sound Crews. Take their food, clothing and water which they have been selfishly not sharing with you.
  • Step 3 – Put some damn clothing on!

We rate this show Two stars **

Naked In the Woods

Michelle slipped into the pond and felt the tingle of the cool water on her naked body. It had taken three hours of rough hiking for  Michelle to get to her secret place in the woods.

Michelle had found it by accident at the beginning of the summer, when she had gone off-trail in search of rare plants. The hikes were part of the research for her PhD dissertation in Botany. Her dissertation had the unexciting title “The encroachment of invasive species on the natural ecosystem of upstate New York and the negative impact on the water supply  to New York City”

marriage 1Michelle had been very proud of the first draft and was devastated at the criticism leveled by her PhD adviser Dr. Paul Coelho.

“It’s a little dry Michelle,” Dr. Coelho had said. “You have statistics and graphs, but you need to really feel the subject. To be a real botanist you have to understand that these plants are alive and vulnerable. You have to be in touch with them and love them. You have to be willing to be naked and vulnerable in the woods like they are.”

Michelle was both  insulted and alarmed. She did not like Dr. Coelho’s talk about being naked. Was this the stodgy old Professor’s attempt to seduce his young student?  Yuck!

The day after Dr. Coelho’s lecture, Michelle went further upstate and further into the woods than she had ever been before. She had her thick jeans and heavy hiking boots on. Strapped to her was the large and heavy backpack with the vials for the plant and water samples she would take.

By the time Michelle happened upon the pond, she was exhausted, hot and sweaty.  She put down her backpack and lay on the warm dirt next to the pond. She let her hand dangle in the water, and the pond  felt cool and tempting.

Looking around to see that she was entirely alone, Michelle made an impulsive decision.

“Well, if he wants me naked that’s what he is going to get, “she said out loud

Michelle took off her dusty boots and socks;  her jeans her flannel shirt and stood there wearing nothing but her bra and panties.  She was about to dive in wearing those, but then decided she did not want to be hiking home in a soggy bra and panties. She slipped them off, hung them on a tree branch and stood in the woods completely nude.

As she stood there naked, she was suddenly afraid at how vulnerable she was.  Michelle was not large or muscular and had no weapons. She was small and soft and had no real way to defend herself against anything that choose to attack her. “Like the plants,” she thought.

Naked in the Woods

Naked in the Woods

Michelle almost put her clothing back on, but the cool water looked too inviting for her to chicken out now.  She slipped into the pond and felt  the wonderful sensation of it enveloping her.  It was as if she was the only person in the world.

She stood naked in the water and rested her hands on a tree branch that was just above her head.  Her breasts peaked out of the water and the Sun felt warm on them while the cool water played around her thighs and between her legs.

Michelle stayed that way for a long time, in an almost trance-like meditative state.

After that first time, Michelle came back to her secret spot every week. Her PhD dissertation progressed throughout the Summer, and Dr. Coelho was very pleased with the results. She never told him about her naked visits to the pond. She never told anyone. Somehow that would spoil it.

Finally,  Fall came and it got too cold to go into the water. Winter came, and Michelle continued to visit the pond each week. The pond froze, some plants died and the trees went into their long nap.

But Michelle knew that when Summer returned she would be back. Naked and soft and vulnerable, yet somehow unafraid of the harsh World beyond the woods.

The Original Naked Swim – Tarzan & Jane in 1934

In 1934, Maureen O’Sullivan shocked  movie audiences by appearing completely naked on the Big Screen. This was no quick flash where you were not certain what you had seen. She was swimming naked for almost 4 minutes in Tarzan and His Mate.

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It turns out that there are stories withing stories surrounding this scene.  For one thing, the woman swimming naked was not actually Maureen O’Sullivan.

Tarzan 21It turns out that it was actually an Olympic swimmer by the name of Josephine McKim.

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Audiences should  have been tipped off by the incredible  amount of time the couple spends underwater and how well they both swim. Johny Weismuller (Tarzan) was also an Olympic swimmer. Of course, the audience was probably too stunned by the nudity to be paying attention to the couple’s  swimming skills.

1934 audiences were astounded that Jane was obviously completely nude

1934 audiences were astounded that Jane was obviously completely nude

But Maureen O’Sullivan herself is no prude in the film. She spends a good deal of time wearing a very revealing loincloth that would have been considered obscene if not for the prior nude swimming episode.

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It is not clear exactly how individual audience members felt, but it is clear how the “moral authorities” of the day reacted. The Catholic Legion Of Decency condemned the film and

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various State agencies spoke of pulling it from the theaters.  What finally happened is that there ended up being 3 versions of the film in circulation simultaneously.  In what were considered the most conservative parts of the country, the film had Jane swimming fully clothed. In most parts of the country, she was topless. In a few select theaters (mostly in New York City) the totally naked swimming scene was left in the film in its entirety.

Maureen O'Sullivan in Tarzan and His Mate

Maureen O’Sullivan in Tarzan and His Mate

Somehow, with all the focus on the swimming scene, the parts of the movie with Jane running around in her loincloth got left in all the versions.

Tarzan and His Mate perform an underwater ballet with Jane naked

Tarzan and His Mate perform an underwater ballet with Jane naked

However, the Moral Authorities were not satisfied. This film lead to increased censorship of movies in the U.S. and it was decades before audiences saw this much flesh on screen again.

Tarzan and Jane in a romantic moment in Tarzan and His Mate

Tarzan and Jane in a romantic moment in Tarzan and His Mate

Viewing the movie from a modern perspective, the naked swimming scene still holds up as being  beautiful and artistic. The only unrealistic part of the scene, in fact, is that Tarzan himself is not naked.  It makes no sense that in the middle of the jungle Tarzan would swim with a loincloth on, while his mate cavorted nude. However, male nudity was completely taboo in 1934. Even today there remains a double standard about male versus female nudity, which many actresses have complained about.

Jane and Tarzan in 1934

Jane and Tarzan in 1934

So if you want to see what was the talk of the country in 1934, take a look at Tarzan and His Mate. Most of the movie is silly, but the swimming scene is still great.

Alicia von Rittberg on Game of Thrones

The press agent for actress Alicia von Rittberg confirmed to East Coast Stories today that she will be playing a major role on the new season of Game of Thrones. Fans were disappointed that she was not in last season.  He also confirmed rumors that Alicia von Rittberg will appear nude in some of the episodes.

This will be the first time Alicia von Rittberg has ever done a nude scene, a fact that some of her fans find hard to believe.

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Alicia von Rittberg played the young German Girl Emma in the World War II movie Fury. 

Exactly what role Alicia von Rittberg will play on Game of Thrones has not been announced, however her agent hinted that she will play a major  character who has extraordinary magical powers.

Of course Game of Thrones is no stranger to female nudity.

The beautiful Emilia Clarke has appeared nude many times times in the series. She is better known as Dany Daenerys, or “The Mother of Dragons”. She will be in for some competition from Alicia von Rittberg.

The Erotic Train Ride

The following is a true story.

There was no sound inside the 6:04 am train to New York as it passed through the the suburbs on this frigid February morning.  Inside the train, commuters either slept or checked the messages in their iPhones. No one spoke to each other and no one looked out through the train windows.

There is no reason to look outside. It is still mostly dark, and whatever can be seen is covered with snow. It is also exactly the same route that each of the commuters has traveled a thousand times before.

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That is; no one looked out the widows except for me. I was feeling sort of melancholy and did not want to check the hundreds of emails that my bosses in Europe had sent me while I was asleep last night. I missed the days when the morning commute was a chance to read a book, and was not just an extension of the workday.

So I gazed out the train window as  house after house whizzed past, and a few brave souls walked their dogs in the snow.

Then the train began to slow and came to a halt between stations. The conductor announced on the loudspeaker  that due to the weather there was congestion up ahead on the line, and that we would be here for a few minutes.

As the train stopped, I noticed that I was looking directly into the second floor of a small split level house. It was the type of house that realtors refer to as a “starter home.” There was a large picture window on the second floor and it opened to the master bedroom. The house had no curtains on any of the windows. Using some detective work I figured out that the owners must have moved in recently and had not yet had time to get curtains.

The lights were on in the bedroom, and because it was still dark outside, the entire room was clearly visible.  There was a young man sitting on the edge of the bed. He was wearing pajama bottoms and no top. He was just an average looking fellow, and he was looking at another door in the room and appeared to be saying something.

Then the other door opened and a young woman, about twenty four years old,   appeared.  She was wearing a kimono-type bathrobe and her long dark hair was wet.  She had obviously just taken a shower. She smiled when she saw the man was watching her, and she said something.

The man stayed sitting on the bed and she slowly walked over. He leaned forward and reached for the belt on her  robe, but she just  laughed and jumped back just out of reach.  She took two more steps backward then undid the belt and let the robe slide to the floor.

She was amazing beautiful as she stood there naked. Her hair was still wet and water from the ends dripped down in droplets onto her breasts, and flowed down onto her flat stomach. She held her arms to the man as she walked forward to be with him on the bed.

Then she disappeared.

The train lurched forward, and suddenly the house, the man and the beautiful woman were gone. The train continued to move and soon the view out the window was of gas stations and auto body shops. The train picked up speed and was soon once again rushing towards New York.

I looked around the train car and noticed that no one else had glimpsed the erotic episode in the little house. I knew that I should not have been a voyeur. But it was such a beautiful love scene on a bleak and dreary day that it drew me into it.

The train never stopped in that exact spot again and I never again saw the young lovers. I sometimes wonder how such an average looking young man was able to attract that stunningly  beautiful woman.  From her smile it was obvious that she was totally in love.

As I take the boring commute these days, I sometimes smile to myself when I remember that somewhere outside the train window there are two people who have much better things to do in the morning than answer emails.

The Naked Swim

“I went topless on the beach this morning,” whispered Jeanne shyly  at breakfast. With her Canadian accent she pronounced “top” like “tope”.

The way she said it in such a timid way it  made Spencer smile. It also made him picture what she must have looked like on the beach. Jeanne was 23 years old and beautiful. She had long brown hair, green eyes and a figure that was athletic yet voluptuous.  He had met her on his first  day at the Caribbean resort and had made a point of timing his breakfasts so that he would “just happen” to be in the buffet line when she was.

Jeanne on the Beach topless

Jeanne on the Beach topless

The First Witch – Lilith and her origins

This is the story  of the First Witch, as has been passed down for centuries.  When people first began to read the Bible they were fascinated with the story of Genesis and how all things were created. People read Genesis over and over and soon they realized there was something missing.Genesis 1.27 says”

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him male and female he created them.”

But ancient people noticed that in  Genesis 2.18 the statement is made that “Then the Lord God said, “it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him.” Why was man alone? What happened to the First Woman who had been created?

Genesis goes into great detail about how the Second Woman (who we all call Eve) was created. Genesis 2.21 states, “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up the place with flesh; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.”

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Scholars and peasants alike debated the two great questions. What had happened to the First Woman and why did God make the Second Woman from a part of Adam himself?

They finally agreed that the answer lay in the phrase where God says “I will make him a helper fit for him. ”  It was obvious that the First Woman was somehow unfit. But how?  What had she done?

Again, the ancient peoples came to a consensus. It was not what the First Woman had done. It was what she had not done. She had refused to be a helper.  She wanted to be herself. She wanted to be equal;  and because Adam could not accept that she had run away. And all of those characteristics in the eyes of the ancient world branded such a woman as a Witch.

 Eve was then made out of a part of Adam himself (his rib) so that she would be a piece of him and subservient to him.  The Witch had not been created from man. She was completely independent of him.

witch 1

The”Witch story” is never mentioned in the Bible. It is something people in the Middle Ages labeled the first woman as.

In modern times, we portray witches as old an ugly, but that is not how the people of the Middle Ages saw them. To them the Witch was a beautiful and sexual young woman. She had left the Garden of Eden long before Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and then covered themselves with fig leaves to hide their nakedness.  That means that The Witch was naked when she left, and remained proud of her nakedness.

The stories of the Middle Ages do not end there. There are many tales of the Witch periodically luring Adam away from Even and tempting him with her open naked sexuality.  These tales became so lurid over the centuries that the Catholic Church itself put great effort into changing common picture of a witch into an ugly hag.

So every Halloween, when you see little girls dressed up as ugly old witches with green faces, remember it was not always so. The Witch goes back to the beginning of time, and she was much different than the Trick or Treaters could ever imagine.

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Over the centuries, people even gave the First Witch the name of Lilith. This, of course, was also the name of Frazier’s wife on Cheers. The writers, purposely gave her this name. The name Lilith continues to be a source of either pride or hatred, depending on how someone views a woman’s role in society.